Wicked Monsters Blast! HD

Technology has brought us a long way, yet Wicked Monsters Blast! HD (WMB) does not follow that arc. Arguably, games can follow any theme and still be solid, but that isn’t the issue here. The problem stems from outdated or sometimes downright childish design choices that make this colorful title a complete snooze. It’s short and repetitive, with little added value to keep going, so why even get started at all?

Shoot things.

Its aesthetics aren’t that poorly made. Even if animations are limited and sound effects are terribly repetitive, the bright and rounded characters and joyful environments do bring some light to the screen. When applicable, cute animals and heavily outlined backgrounds offer a cartoonish feel with minor movement elements. Some stages can be endearing, with moose that try to rob banks or feeding a giant whale bowls of pasta. However, most levels are restricted to one panel of barely any filling at all or present a static, dull screen. Simplicity is king in WMB and that will not turn in its favor.

The game is played through a series of mini-games with different objectives, each more dated than the last. All these missions are set up as a shooting gallery, where players aim with a crosshair roaming over the screen and shoot the appropriate target. Ranging from simple shootouts to insulting games of True Or False or Memory, there are few missions to enjoy and that certainly since some resemble others. Using old ideas shouldn’t mean a game falters. However, adding nothing to a simplistic experience that has been run into the ground ages ago is not the way to go. The repetition sinks in fast, after one of the dozen mini-games repeats itself and requires the same dull process with little to no incentive, other than an end score.

This one is particularly annoying.

There is a disconnection between elements in WMB. Aforementioned issues could at least be downplayed if the game was targeted at the smallest of children, who haven’t heard of better games. However, every mission follows the same mechanic where an increased velocity makes keeping up with the game challenging. As an end score is dependent to win a mission, this speed increase heightens difficulty needlessly and lazily to boot.  There is no variety, just the same thing, but faster.

A story mode gives gamers a simple backstory to one of the many characters available, all whom are bent on world domination. Completing the story then unfolds a few more panels, but that is nearly not enough incentive to embark on another round of the same shootouts. Playing also unlocks bits of content and even new game modes, yet since the game is dominated by the mini-games there is nothing to add variety to it. Playing the same mini-games under other pretenses are still the same games. Nothing changes in WMB and nothing will.

However, there is an option to play with a few friends, which is this game’s only capable effort or at least in theory. With additional players, there is not only an internal competition, but items are added as well. These can help the player or hinder the opponent. Some can be thrown back, which can make for a few hectic games where players balance shooting at the screen and bouncing back a bomb that has dropped in their lap. Still, these items will not save this mess. Sure, they’re a bit more fun to pass time on a routine task, but the job at hand is the killer of all enjoyment. Additionally, added players exponentially clog up the screen, which makes playing more confusing and frustrating.

This one is almost as bad as just saying yes or no.

Simplicity and repetition on top of a dated structure with little entertainment value results in a terrible verdict for Wicked Monsters Blast! HD. It’s not a question if the game will get boring, but rather when it will hit the monotone barrier. The answer to that is: Within the hour. That just simply isn’t acceptable and no amount of cuteness can alleviate that, not even for the littlest of gamers.

Daav Valentaten, NoobFeed. (@Daavpuke)