Koshai Razzie Award E3 Edition

Hello there!! This is your lovely host Koshai bringing you some of the coolest awards that we will provide (well cool for audiences though). Today we bring you the E3 special and since the developers had put so much work to bring the games to show off in E3 to some specific people, not the generic public (that’s why you put $500 gate money, damn you), we had to give some awards for their satisfaction (maybe) and allowing us to have more TV ratings (site rating it is) from the general public (to venge their anger). So with no further ado let’s start our show. Here are the awards:

 

The game that should be sued for copyright infringement – Naughty Dogs for trying to steal the exact underwater scene shown in Tomb Raider (plagiarism award)

 

The company that kept friend’s close, but enemies closer – Nintendo for paying tribute to Sega (Genesis does what Nintendon’t award)

 

The game that Katy Perry may not like because she might get owned – Just Dance 3 (Viral madness award)

 

The game that controls you to use force – Star Wars Kinect (Force control award)

 

The game that will keep you inside a car and never get away because the car is so awesome – Forza Motorsport 4 (Virtual Satisfaction award)

 

The character who finally revealed his/her personality – Lara Croft (Multiple personality disorder award)

 

The game that made the ultimate response to PlayStation Home by taunting to that game straight, “HAHA, in your face!!!” – Disney Kinect (Ownage award)

 

The developers who should be put to jail for almost violating the tradition of a game which was supposed to be an RPG – Bioware for turning Mass Effect 3 into an action game (Criminal award)

 

The game that almost brought people to cuddle around the cutest things on the planet – Rabbids Go Home (Guilty Pleasure award)

 

The publisher should be credited for making Nintendo go the place of worship and thank God – Ubisoft for announcing a new game Killer Freaks from Outer Space exclusive for Nintendo (Messiah award)

 

The game that still keeping the gamers scratching their head out of curiosity – Assassins Creed Revelations

(Question Mark award)

 

The game that kept on airing the same rollercoaster commercial to wow the gamers (and also making gamers bored at the same time) – Bioshock Infinite with its same rollercoaster scene (Six Flags award)

 

The developers at least stop producing repeating version of the sane game – Sonic Generations (Sitcom award)

 

And the best music album goes to – The Legend of Zelda 25th anniversary concert performance (Grammy award)

 

Someone should be detained and spanked for not organizing its own conference while making someone else take the burden of showing its game (What an opportunist!) – Square Enix (No show award)

 

Finally the dream of kicking the hopeless chicken for real will come true – Fable The Journey with Kinect support (Wishmaster award)

 

Hey iPad!!! You got a competitor – Playstation Vita (Best Tablet award)

 

This company should be credited for the most expensive 3D show ever (with $500 price tag) – Sony (Headaque award)

 

The console that should start planning its retirement schemes – Nintendo Wii (Fast ageing award)

 

The game that brought two enemies work together (only for the sake of money I assume) – Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3.

 

The Secret Society of Ninjas will be proud of their dark tradition just for this game – Ninja Gaiden III with Ryu being extremely murderous (Blood bank award)

 

A rare occasion where NASA helping someone in non-governmental activities – Providing satellite images for the new SSX game (Intelligence award)

 

Hackers are so desperate that even they want to delay the start of their arch nemesis’s show – Sony’s conference getting delayed (Cyberwar award)

 

Ladies and Gentleman, it is sad to say that our beloved NFS franchise has turned into a GTA franchise just because of this game – NFS Run (Vengeful Take-Two reverse EA takeover award)

 

The most repetitive sound – Battlefield 3 title sound (Low sound budget production value award)

 

One of the reasons why Microsoft should have hired better actors - People playing Kinect games in MS conference (sorry kids for embarrassing you, but awareness need to be made just to prevent future embarassments). (B-grade low budget movie award)

 

No One Lives Forever fans who have been whining (including me) for a third sequel may stop their whining for a while with this game – Overstrike (Cate Archer award)

 

William Shakespeare will rise from the dead to watch this performance – Ubisoft staffs ultra-dramatic performances in the Ubisoft conference (Tony award)

 

So that’s it folks. These are the awards we have. To those who didn’t receive the award, God bless you all. You have been saved from sheer embarrassment.